Archive for the 'Parenting' Category
photo figure credit: Yogi
As I enter my third trimester of pregnancy it is time to look at the family finances and the implications on our budget of having two children. How much did it actually cost to have our daughter? I think we did well on the financial front and tried to be frugal parents. In fact, we only attributed $818.38 directly to Daughter #1 in her first year. So then the next question is how much will it cost to expand the family? We saw how much it cost to have 2 dogs! Hopefully in the first year the 2nd baby won’t cost nearly so much. At least we have health insurance for the babies!
I read a blog recently and was shocked. Connie says in the post that they had spent $14,000 from conception to birth. I thought this amount was exorbitant. Read the breakdown of costs here. I can’t imagine spending that much on our first child, and I know the second will not cost that much either. Luckily for us we only had to pay one co-pay for all our prenatal care. A lot of the big ticket items are things we got from other people or things we will be reusing for the second baby, including nursery furniture, maternity clothes and diapers (we are using cloth). Diapers alone cost us a total of $156.78, though this doesn’t count the cost of water and soap. However, I know our high efficiency washer and dryer are not that costly to run
Some ways we have cut down on spending will continue with a second child, like using cloth diapers. This will save on the recurring diaper costs most parents face. We are also starting potty training early and have had some great successes. I would really like to only have one child in diapers at a time even if they are cloth! I do intend to breastfeed our next child. Not having to buy formula certainly was helpful in staying on budget. I also made my own baby food from normal foods that I would be buying for us (pureed vegetables, fruits, etc.) I have all the equipment, which was actually a very small to negligible start-up cost, consisting of covered ice cube trays, ziplock bags and a food processor that we already owned.
One huge consideration for us is how 2 children will change the dynamic for me and working from home. I anticipate it being fairly easy in the beginning when the baby will be napping frequently. After that it may be very difficult to line up naps in order to continue to get 2 - 2 1/2 hrs during the day and at first the baby will not have such an early bedtime and may require my attention in the evenings when I get a lot of work done now. There are a few options I can look into. Options like grandparents coming 1 day per week for a few hours to help out or mommy’s helpers. There is also a 9am-1pm nursery school up the street. If I can send my daughter there a few times a week I might be able to work while the baby naps as I did with our first. Of course this hinges on me being able to find hours to work, see my other recent post.
It will definitely be a big change. I suppose we won’t know how it will go until it happens. Until then we will run the budget numbers with and without my full income to see where we stand. I’m guessing we won’t be living on Ramen Noodles either way, but we might be taking some tips from some of the frugal mom bloggers, like “I’m an organzing Junkie” and “Simple Mom” out there and eating some vegetarian meals a few times a week to save money and round out our week of meals with less expensive options!
Let’s hear from our subscribers. If you have more than one child, how do you juggle your responsibilities and how to do you cut costs as your little mouths to feed, cloth and entertain increase?
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It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had a chance to compile some of the best things I’ve read lately. The list below is pretty long, so let’s jump right into it:
I participated in the Carnival of Financial Goals earlier this month with my post on declaring a Financial Independence Day.
NCN wrote about a major motivation for keeping his financial house in order. As the parent of a young daughter myself, my perspectives on what really is important have changed a lot in the last 2 years, and I certainly can empathize. It’s great that NCN is in a position that frees him up from having to worry about anything other than family at this time. I hope Baby Girl is doing well.
The Freak-est Links points us to a website run by the Maine State government on how to calculate the value of your public library. I calculated a $260 annual value of our local library. Not bad!
Living Almost Large writes about Dreading the Envelope — you know, the one that gets passed at work when someone has a baby or something like that? This article really changed my perspective on this practice. I work in a relatively small office (~20 people). A few months back a co-worker’s house burned to the ground. He lost everything. This was the only time that the envelope has been passed in the 3 years I’ve worked in this office. I was torn on if and how much to give. On the one hand, I can’t even begin to understand how devastating a loss this must have been. But on the other hand, we’re responsible and have insurance (and so did he), so why should we need to give any money at all? In any event, this situation is a true need compared to a birthday or baby shower, and in that light I will not hesitate to give more should the occasion ever present itself again.
Glbl asks for reader input on whether money earmarked for college should be given in one lump sum or allocated over time. Many argue that young adults are still too immature to handle large sums of money responsibly (ie not blow it all in Vegas instead of using it for tuition…). My argument, however, was that most young adults are “too immature” because they haven’t had the proper training on how to handle money. So use this opportunity as a chance to educate the recipient on how to be financially responsible, budget, etc. Otherwise you’re putting the cart before the horse.
J.D. writes about how to support your favorite bloggers (cough, cough). While I don’t have any ads on Don’t Feed the Alligators at this time, most of the suggestions are still apt:
- Participate in the discussion — really, please do! You can do so anonymously, and I never share or reveal email addresses, even if I know who you are.
- Tell your friends — word of mouth, or email both work great!
- Click on ads that truly interest you — not applicable here, but works well elsewhere
- Link to stories that you like — if you’ve got your own blog or website and see a story you like, how about a linkback?
Madison writes about how to earn free money using the US Mint. While this scheme is not for everyone, it certainly piqued my interest.
A spirited discussion follow David’s post on the large percentage of American corporations that pay no federal income taxes. The biggest point that I would like to make here is that if you’re going to argue with someone and cite a fact, you have to be able to back up the fact with something other than the equivalent of saying, “It’s true, look it up!” I never took debate classes, but it seems to me that it is the arguer’s job to look it up, not the audience he is trying to convince. At the very best case, it doesn’t make for a very compelling argument.
Lastly and just for fun, J.D. links to a video made by two average guys who “compete” in a number of Olympic events and compare their results to those of Olympic caliber athletes. This really underscores how incredible Olympic athletes are. Hats off to all competitors and especially to US Gold Medal winners!
Tune in next time for a very special blognouncement!
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*Work being defined here as something you get paid for. Everything else I do daily (child rearing, cooking, cleaning) is, of course, gratis!
I probably have the ideal job situation, well certainly for me anyway. I have a Master’s Degree in Structural Engineering, and got my Professional Engineer’s license just prior to giving birth to our first child.
A while back a co-worker and I discussed the possibilities of working together in the future when he started his own company and I wanted to be able to stay home with my children. As luck or timing would have it, he was ready for his first employee as I was ending my maternity leave with my former employer. I may have been able to work out a part time schedule with employer at the time, but this was the opportunity to work exclusively from home, indefinitely. It was an opportunity that does not present itself to everyone and I am blessed to be able to stay at home, while still significantly contributing to the family finances. It also gives me the chance to exercise my brain so I don’t get mommy brain (which I have anyway, but at least this way I’m still sharp with the calculator!) This job has given me the ability to work from home and make great money. At the same time I can stay home with our daughter, which has always been a goal for our family.
For over a year I have managed to work a 20 hr week and care for a our child. Aside from a few weeks here and there. I typically work while our daughter naps and then after MITBeta gets home from work or after she is in bed for the night. She has been very good about sleeping (we did have some rough patches but I’ll save that for another post!) She has recently transitioned to one nap in the afternoon and I can typically get about 2 of my 4 hours in at this time. Since she just made the switch I’m hoping it may get a little bit longer, but for now I’ll take what I can get! I do have a little desk and coloring station set up downstairs in my office, but I haven’t really had a chance to test that out. I think she is still too young to be able to sit and entertain herself in one spot while I get anything productive done.
The other day I got to thinking about the pros and cons of being a work at home mom. It came up because I became annoyed by the opportunity for MITBeta to get a nap in after work. I suppose the reason it upset me is because it’s tough to work from home. It’s obviously a huge blessing to be able to work in my field, from home, and set my own hours, all while bringing in a healthy income. I can choose to work 4 hrs/day or do it all in a few days. Up until now I have never really asked anyone for help so that I can work unless I have appointments outside of the house. I’ve been lucky and have been able to get my work accomplished and still be able to do what I want to do in the evenings and weekends. As the months have passed we have had to re-evaluate and change our expectations.
Recently we switched from my company’s health insurance to MITBeta’s. This has removed the pressure to work the full 20 hrs every week. I try to work between 15 and 20 hours and have been averaging around 18. Although we lose some money this way, the pressure is eliminated and which may have been the hardest part of the being a work at home mom. Imagine the idea that you need to work, and have to constantly make choices between housework and “real” work. I think I’d rather do “real” work most days!
In the near future, it might be time to re-evaluate the situation. We do have a mother’s helper that is in the neighborhood that I could use for a few hours a week, although with summer quickly nearing an end, that option will go away. But more importantly, I realized the other day that we need to budget in time for me into our weekly schedule in the same way we budget savings into our financial budget. Unfortunately when you have to work while your child naps you don’t get much, if any, downtime. It’s amazing how much downtime there is at a desk job! So in order to maintain my sanity, since working at home means I can be working at all hours of the day, night, and weekends, I need to carve out time for myself each week. I think this will go a long way to helping me to be a more productive mom and employee.
Here are some Pros and Cons, as I see it, of being a WAHM:
Pros:
Flexibility to attend playdates, appointments, and lunches with Daddy and grandparents, the ability to run errands in the daytime when the stores are less crowded, able to personally care for my daughter and attend to her hourly needs. This last one has allowed me to breastfeed until my daughter was 19 months old and hopefully will also lead to quick potty training, but I’m not holding out too much hope for that one yet!
Cons:
No down time, always either working, watching the baby, doing housework or cooking. You need to work some evenings and weekends to make it work without outside help. You feel guilty about hobbies (reading, scrapbooking) while you still have work hours to complete for the week.
I think that as long as I can maintain my sanity I will continue to love working from home. It’s important to stay flexible and treat each week as it comes, but I have enjoyed it so far and hope to continue doing so in some capacity for many more years and children to come! I will keep you posted as we experience this journey first hand and live with the ups and downs of generating income while child rearing, all from the comfort of home.
What about you? How do you handle child rearing and budgeting time for yourself? Do you work outside the home and if so how does that change the dynamic?
Reminder:You still have 1 day to get your entries in for the Don’t Feed the Alligators Giveaway!
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I’m pleased to present the first ever giveaway here at Don’t Feed the Alligators. The folks at Baby Signs, Inc. have been gracious enough to provide a Potty Training Made Easy with the Baby Signs Program kit. Now I know that this won’t interest some of you, but you can always give this to friends with a toddler!
ScrapperMom has written before about our great results with the use of sign language over the last 9 months with our 19 month old daughter. Linda left a comment on that post that introduced us to the product featured below. She pointed out that you can save LOTS of money on diapers by training your toddler as soon as possible. You can find out how to enter to win at the bottom of this post.
Everything you and your baby need to make potty training fun and easy! Kit includes 5 exciting products:
- A Parent’s Guide to Potty Training Made Easy with the Baby Signs® Program This straightforward parent guide from trusted child development experts will help you confidently lead your baby to potty success. Includes illustrated Signing Glossary.
- All Aboard the Potty Train DVD With its catchy tunes, delightful animation and real kids, this exciting DVD will teach your baby five potty-time signs and reinforce each step of the potty routine.
- All Aboard the Potty Train Lift-the-Flap Book Your baby will love discovering the potty-time signs hidden under each flap in this fun and interactive board book featuring the DiaperDoodles™.
- Job Well Done! Stickers These colorful reward stickers feature fun images and positive messages such as “Good Job!”, “I’m on the Potty Train!” and “I Rode the Potty Train!”
- All Aboard the Potty Train Conductor’s Whistle Whether to signal it’s time to go potty or to “sound the trumpet of success,” this fun-to-blow whistle will put a smile on your baby’s face when it’s potty time.
ScrapperMom, Daughter #1, and I have had a chance to review the DVD and while it’s a bit repetitive for my tastes, Daughter #1 gives it two little thumbs up. In fact, she is happy to sit on her potty, and sign along with the babies in the video! It looks like she’ll enjoy the lift the flap book, and it’s not clear yet whether she’ll be able to figure out how to blow the whistle. The parents’ guide book is really interesting and points out that like so many other things in our daily lives, it’s big business (namely the disposable diaper companies) that has delayed the onset of potty training in the United States. In fact, there is a vested interest in keeping kids in diapers as long as possible.
At a $40 value, this set should keep toddlers entertained while giving Mom and Dad clear guidance on how to get started with what is usually thought of as a frustrating and arduous task. We have already ordered our own set, so you could say that this product has the Don’t Feed the Alligators seal of approval.
To Enter to Win this great set, simply subscribe to this blog, if you haven’t already, using either an RSS Reader or by email by filling out the form below. Then send me an email with the secret phrase that appears at the bottom of the post you receive via the subscription feed. Contest entries will be accepted through midnight EDT on August 15. One lucky winner will be drawn at random using a random number generator. Odds of winning depend on the number of entries. While no purchase is necessary, the folks over at Baby Signs sure would appreciate your business!
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Take it from us: Save yourself some frustration. Teach your toddlers to sign. I know it probably sounds crazy and same naysayers may think it prevents or delays speech, but the facts are your babies are able to gesture before their speech is such that you and others can understand them. Babies often wave long before their first birthdays and may not say their first words until 18 months. A friend of ours recommended baby signing (we basically use American Sign Language with a few shortened signs for ease). We have prevented a lot of tantrums this way and have probably saved a lot of frustration, as well, on both of our parts.
I started signing with our daughter around 6-8 months and must admit I was frustrated by around 1 year. I think you could start around 1 year and still get the benefits. At around 1 year something amazing happened, she started signing back! At first they were very common and necessary ones: Milk, More, Eat, Baby and Bath. In 6 short months her signing vocabulary has grown to include all kinds of signs: Help, Drink, Cracker, Water, All Done, Daddy, Mommy, Dog, Please, Thank You, Bird, Train, Plane, Cat, Hat, and ones that hopefully will become very important in the next few months to a year: Potty and Diaper! By having her know what she needs and being able to sign it, we have avoided a lot of frustration. She is also very proud when we tell her what the signs mean. She knows she is able to communicate with us. She does babble and has a few words in her spoken vocabulary, but it’s quite normal for her age and until all the words solidify this is an excellent way to get over the hump of toddlerhood.
One important note: you may want to show babysitters and grandparents some important signs or they may feel like they are hearing/seeing a foreign language. Some helpful ones for them are her favorites: Milk, Help, More, Please, and All Done.
The teaching video I recommend is Baby Signing Time. There are two main volumes and if you are lucky your local PBS station may carry the show. As Michelle commented on another post, it probably would be a good idea to show your support and buy the video and I am ashamed that I haven’t done so yet as I really love its approach to teaching babies to sign. The family that produces the video has a great, captivating and educational style and I feel that I should better support their business. But alas, this is a frugal blog as well, so we save when we can (but hint, hint to the grandparents for gift ideas!). The format of the video separates signs into groups and each group has a catchy song that goes along with the signs. This way it’s easier for mom and dad to remember the signs as well, since you are learning too! During the song Rachel, the singer/signer, tells you why signs are the way they are; milk: like you’re milking a cow, eat: like you are bringing a piece of food to your mouth. Then the song is accompanied by toddlers (under 2) signing and demonstrating the action. I believe the babies signing really helps captivate our toddler and lets us see variations of the signs when performed by babies. For a while our daughter was tapping her nose and I had no idea what she meant, but she was signing bird, which is actually your thumb and forefinger forming a beak at your mouth, but I realized she did it every time we heard birds singing! Just like speech, their first sign attempts may be cryptic! We were able to use Netflix to rent a few other signing videos, but they were not nearly as good as this series. We also have a board book that has signs in it.
So although it doesn’t have a lot to do with finances, getting your child off to a good start with communication is a great thing. Whether you teach a second spoken language or sign, you are taking advantage of the fact that children at this age are sponges and love to learn and imitate you. Also they say it is great for old people like us parents to exercise our brains as well by learning new skills. So drop me a comment and tell me if you have had experience signing with babies/toddlers and if your child is older, how you may use that now. Our friend who recommended sign language to us has told me that, “We love sign language and although he is fully vocal, sometimes we use it for games (guess the sign) or when we need to speak to him “in private”!” So have fun with it and even if you only pick up a few, you may find it’s a great tool.
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